I'm going to die of anxiety if I can't express to you how upsetting this is for me @Señorita .
When I told you i'm wrong I meant i'm wrong. I could continue to say things over and over but it just doesn't matter because I'm wrong. Nothing is gonna change the fact that I got the day wrong I got the time wrong and clearly I can't change that with anything I say.
Please stop saying things about me and 53423423401230131203 women. I do not care about other women. Everyone who talks to me knows I drown in your love and affection, so much so that I have gone far beyond what I thought was OK just to keep it.
Zaya I made a mistake. Really i've made several mistakes. Zaya I keep making mistakes. I could tell you a million reasons or a millions reasons how everything should be OK but it's not. My dumb ass got banned so I couldn't even say anything as you're sitting here upset..
You need to understand something, you are my life goal.
I dream about you. I've stopped sleeping for 2 years now just so we can talk. My body wakes up like clockwork at 2am every single day, when you're here or not.
I just got you back. I just finally got to a point where I could share with you all the things I've been planning while you're gone, I just shared all the things with you I needed to do before that I've been trying so hard to finish so I could take care of everything.
I don't think you understand, Zaya.
I want to cherish you forever.
I want to take care of you until I get old and die.
I want to build a life with you and I will crush anyone and anything that gets in the way of that. I have done so many times and I have no regrets.
I have been in love with you since the day I met you. I can't think of anything but you.
I would rather give up the shirt off my back and live on the street just to have a conversation with you.
I want to drown in the thoughts of your mind, just listening to the way you think is enough to intoxicate me beyond any alcohol ever has.
You are the one for me. I don't have to question it, and I don't have to think about it, and I don't plan to stop until I see you face to face.
I'm prepared to spend another 6 months without you. Maybe another year. Maybe another 5 years. I don't care. Maybe you're done and you don't ever want to come back, ok. I'm prepared to be alone for the rest of my life then.
I just want to give you your birthday presents. Even if I got the day wrong I had already got them long before the day arrived. I'll celebrate you by myself if I have to, every single year.
I love you. I have always loved you. I will continue to love you. You can be gone and I will love you. You can be here I will love you.
I call it unconditional because what I have realized time and time again is that you don't even have to try and I will drown in the idea of loving you.
i'll drown happy. I've always drowned happy.
Please come back. I won't pry, if you don't want to then don't. Just know that I'll always keep the door open for you. You've always got a home in my heart.